New Blog

http://chaptertwo-learningtofly.blogspot.com/

Go check it out. I will no longer be posting to this blog. The new one isn't all spiffy and cool yet but i'm working on it!!

Moving on the Chapter 2!!

--Jenna

New Blog

On the side note, I will be starting a new blog in 12 days. Just to let you know.

For Kaitlyn

This blog is for Kaitlyn. My life is crazy right now and there is so much going on there is no way to possibly tell all, so here are the important things:

--Saw John Mayer=Officially lived life.

--Dad's relationship is good again

--Prom was amazing!

--Dating Amazing guy

--His prom is the 22nd

--Going to New Mexico for SLA and WIRED in June

--Troy Orientation July 7-8

--Graduate in 11 days

--3 real days of school left

--Going to see Keith Urban, Kenny Chesney, and Taylor Swift with Windsey Bawin May 29 & 30(and mom)

--Yearbooks turned out AMAZING

I think that's all the new news. Kaitlyn this was all for you. Love ya chick!

--Good night

--Jenna

One Question

Hello. Well today my Dad wanted to go on a father-daughter date. And I was like ok. Cool. We haven't been in the same room for more than 5 minutes since Christmas and haven't had a real conversation since he told me he had a girlfriend...

SO we go to O Charley's for lunch. And he always said he'd be honest with me... well he's not being. I had one question I wanted answered. And I waited until close to the end of dinner to ask and as soon as I asked he changed the subject, and I was like well that didn't answer my question. So then he told some story and I got really mad. Like seriously this is a straight forward answer type question. And not shortly after that he gets a call and it's like boom gotta go. Let's wrap this dinner up. Like seriously, can you not be away from "them" for more than an hour... maybe actually put a little effort into the relationship you're losing.

But he said that they all(Beth and her kids) really wanted to meet me... ha. This may sound really rude but I don't care if I ever meet them, they are the reason I'm in pain and the reason I'm slowly growing further and further apart from my dad. Then I had this thought today, Am I scared to meet them? Am I scared that I would like them? Yea. I am. I'm scared that I would like Beth and her rugrats. I don't want to like them, or anything that has to do with them. And my dad said he keeps telling them one day, one day... don't count on it... cause unless he starts telling the truth, that day won't come.

And that's another thing. I actually thing I would have been ok with all this had he told the truth from the get-go. He promised me at the beginning of this divorce that he would tell me if he were ever going to date someone... You know when I found out about Beth? After they had been dating a month... or at least that's what he says... Idk if I should even believe him anymore.

So I left O' Charleys, hopped in the car, and boom... tears. My first thought was my Papa. So I stopped by his grave and poured out my guts to a vase of flowers. But I knew he was listening because when I stopped I kinda put my head down and the calmest breeze started and I felt a relaxing "It's gonna be ok" feeling. Well I decided I couldn't go home yet.

I went out to Mr. Ryan's cow barn and sat on my car for while and then went driving around. Then I found "the Perfect Place." It's at Willow Walk. A Subdivision being built up in the country. In the back there were all these walk ways and ponds and a GORGEOUS Bridge and a pavilion that had a brick fire place. Like I was so totally at peace here. I walked around for like an hour and the breeze was perfect and the trees and water were so calming. Definitely a place I will be visiting more often.

I finally left there and drove out around Tumbleton some... by this time I had most my thoughts sorted out. It helped that my phone died and I couldn't talk to anyone. ha. So if you subtract lunch from today I had the best afternoon ever.

I also kept thinking about the poem I blogged about. My Abba Father is here to catch me when the world drops me, here to dry my tears and comfort my heart. Well He did all of that today. I'm so happy I have a Heavenly Father and that through Him I have a HUGE family of brothers and sisters!!

I may not be ok right now, but one day I will get there... one day all the pieces will be fixed and all the hurt will be gone, but for now I'm stuck on this Earth doing the best I can.

Ta Ta For Now!

--Jenna Bug

A letter from Abba-Father

Hey! So last night was a pretty crazy one for me. Just a lot of unsettled thoughts and confusion. Well I wrote this poem, then went back and re-read it and tweeked it a little. Now instead of being from my view, it's from our Heavenly Father's view being spoken to us. I liked it a lot.

When you jump, I’ll be there.

When You fall, I’ll be there.

When the world doesn’t catch you, I’ll be there.

When you hurt, I’ll be there.

I am your friend, I’ll be there.

I know you better than you know yourself,

I’ll be there.

When it seems like no one else knows, I’ll know

And I’ll be there.

Your thoughts, I’ll listen to.

Your tears, I’ll dry.

Your heart, I’ll comfort.

Your feelings, I’ll piece back together.

I’ll be there as your friend.

I’ll love you like your best friend.

I’ll be there no matter where,

Because I care.

I just wanted to share a little of what God's showing me in my life. Know that no matter what, your Abba-Father will always be there to catch you when you fall.

Much love!!

--Jenta Buddy

Sleeplessness.

So it's 1:24. I can't really sleep. Haven't really tried, but I just don't want to go to sleep feeling the way I do. Well I pretty much am feeling forgotten. I'm not going into major details, because well I don't want to. But I just have an eery feeling and I don't like it. I'm not at peace and that's not good.

I watched Paranormal Activity tonight... it was about as stupid as Sweeney Todd. Yea, that's about all there is to my thoughts on that

movie.

I'm top ten and Honor Grad for my class. Found that out last week!! It was exciting. I have 4 more months until I graduate, not even that long. It's an exciting thought, Each day I think about it I get more and more ready for May 24th at 7 o' clock at the Dothan Civic Center, where I will be handed my diploma and set free from this place. Yes I have about a handful of friends I'll actually miss, but besides them... I could care less right now. I'm ready to be gone and figure out my life for me, not for my family.

It snowed today!! That was amazing!! And not just snow, but alot of snow!! All day long!!! It was fantastic. I loved every second of it, and it makes me wish I lived up north so I could see snow and ski every day!!

Prom's in April. I've got my date, dress, and all accessories!! Pretty excited about it!! More excited about the beach afterwards.

Well I'm going to bed. I think I'll go see my Nana tomorrow. She is who I need right now.

Good Night All,

--Jenna

Protectivness

What's Up!! So this is something that I have faced alot of today oddly enough.

To start off I got home from baby-sitting and pull up to see 2 girls talking to Jay(he was outside playing B-Ball). I almost went into monster mode. Who are these girls? Why are they talking to my brother? What are they doing standing in my drive way? I was like crazy. Why? Because I care about my brother, because I don't want him to get hurt and because I had no clue who they were. I wanted to protect him from them, from what they could bring.

That may not have made sense but it did to me. Next was my mom today.

Her singles class is having a lunch today so I asked one of my friends whose mom was probably going to it too if he was going to eat there(to make sure I wasn't the only youth). He said yea and we started talking about it, and he said that we had to keep the guys away from our mom's. I was like Heck yea, we'll beat any body up who comes near them.

Idk, I guess I feel like I'm suppose to protect my family from the world and from things that I don't like or things that I think could be hurtful towards them.

Which leads me to the 3rd protective thing. I have a friend who I personally feel so bad for their 1st boyfriend because I will personally stalk and threaten him with every breath I take. Tonight I actually became friends with this one guy just to keep my eye on him, not that they were talking or were dating but that he could cause "damage" I guess you could say. And yea, I know my friend is a big girl, but still, it's just I feel like I'm suppose to be that protective "Hey, You hurt her you die" kind of person. haha. This sounds way lame... way.

But I think I'm protective because I care. I would never want my brother, mom, or friend to be hurt. And as I typed this I realized that all these protective happenings would happen in a relationship with another person and personally those are the relationships that can ruin a person. Those are the ones that you do have to watch... which I am doing.

And no, none of this probably made sense to you but it did to me so deal with it. I'm protective and have the people around me's backs. It's my job... I feel like.

--The Protective Eye